All We Can Do Is Smile Back

Daddy Clarito died last week. It was so sudden.
We were just at their house that Saturday. We saw him.
On Monday, Bobbhie was here, giving Mama her Dad's papers for a slot of a free dialysis. That same day, when Mama got home, she told me excitedly that she was able to process Bobbhie's case and that the hospital would contact them by Friday. On Tuesday, Daddy Clarito passed away. Aika called us all up and we headed over at Bobbhie's house.  Bob's Mom died late last year so we took the initiative to sort things out at their house with Ate Ty (Bob's older sister) since their relatives from Tanay were still on their way.

Camping while planning what to do and bring for the wake the next day.

Up L-R: Aika, me, and Fong

Down L-R: Jess and Randy

We all chipped in and listed everything needed for a decent wake. Fortunately for us, it all worked out. We lacked sleep and we were all tired but it doesn't matter. I'll do everything for Bobbhie. We'll do everything for Bob and we did. 

Death came in my life again yesterday. Lolo Boni, my Lolo's brother passed away. His family is in the States so all we did yesterday was to wait for their updates. I'm not really close with him but it's definitely sad and it hurts to see Daddy cry, really. Like Bobbhie and her parents, that's Daddy's brother. They've shared their lives together. And just like that, they're not there anymore.

Our family lost my Tito Kaka's second daughter last year so I'm not that cold and I know what it feels like to lose someone. It was too soon. She was only 7 months old. That was the worst day of my life. All I did was cry and think "Why?".

With Daddy and Bobbhie's situation, I can't imagine how painful it is to lose someone you've known your entire existence. Who you know has done and sacrificed a lot of things for you. In just a matter of seconds, they're not here with you. They're in a different place and you can't go with them. And with that, you're not certain if the life you're living is the same as the life you had with them. 

That thought alone sends a huge amount of emotions in my heart. I don't even want to think it will happen but I know, of course, it will. 

The saddest part of it all is that you can never really prepare for it. You can never be prepared for death. And that you can ask all the questions you want but the answers won't be as quick as those questions that came in your head. It will take time. 

It's just nice to think that they are all in a better place now. They're not hurting anymore. And that they are watching over us. 

Death is a part of life, I know. Someone dies, you grieve. You die, someone grieves. It's a circle. All we can do is walk that round path with faith, courage and a smile. 

RIP Daddy Clarito. I'll never forget the last words you told us - "Uwi kayo ha."

RIP Lolo Boni.