On Friendship And That Saturday

Since I became unemployed, my Saturdays have become quite normal to completely non-eventful. I would just sit on my ass, browse the Internet, watch a movie or catch up on TV shows. Don't get me wrong, I love doing that. I enjoy doing absolutely nothing. I mean, who doesn't, right? But to other people, that scenario should have made me slit my throat.

I never go out on Saturdays anymore. Reason 1: No ones asks me to go out. 2: I don't have money so 3: I'd rather stay at home. I'm not a complete homebody, though. I still enjoy the outside world usually and recently with my friends Randy, Bobbhie and Fong. But on Saturdays, Randy has work and though Bobbhie and Fong aren't working, they call it their rest day like normal people do. However, we get dinner and late night coffees on Tuesdays, when Randy's off. I don't know about Bob and Fong but they like staying up and literally dragging themselves up for work the next day. Especially Fong. Most of the time, she would just go home to take a bath and go straight to her office.

This last Saturday though, tenteneneeeeen! We went out. Nothing crazy happened. We just hung out, period. But it was one of those moments you'll eventually tell other people and realize that, that was a good one. And that's what I'm doing right now.

Last Thursday, Daddy Clarito (Bob's dad) was hospitalized. Randy, Fong and I decided to drop by on Saturday only to find out (as we were getting ready to meet up) that they already went home. Since we're almost on our way, we pushed through.
Have I mentioned that we only go out when it's already dark? Yes. That's kinda our thing. So as I sit on an FX while we braved the usual Manila traffic with this bipolar Manila weather, I can't help but think that everything is so bright and sunny and colorful. Basically, though I'm a human being for 23 years now, I've never appreciated how the sun really makes everything shine before. Shine for me means glitter and bronzer. Now, I am not used to going out during the day anymore and it's sad. Unfortunately, it also made every part of my skin sweat and I got preoccupied if it will be visible on my underarms.

Starbucks last Wednesday.

Up: Fong and Bobbhie

Down: Randy and me

After an hour and 30 minutes of constantly complaining about the heat with Randy and Fong and my little silent realization, we finally reached Bob's house. It was our first time there as Bob's family moves around a lot. After hellos and pizza, we settled in her room. We were spread on her floor, talked about her vapid boyfriend (whatever I never liked Baje) amongst other important, not important and what-the-fuck-was-that things. We also ate unhealthy food and smoked our lungs out, of course. We continued with that state until the next morning. It may seem boring but you know, that whole time made me feel happy and complete. Like, I wouldn't want anything else to happen at that moment but that.

We talked and laughed about everything in that room. From love to work, feelings and random crazy ass theories, how is our family similar and different, food to how laziness is a valid reason and can count for how we deal things, death and our friendship. And you know what's funny? We all feel like time isn't enough for the four of us. It's like we'll always have something or someone to talk and laugh about whatever happens. Even if we see or talk to each other every day.

I have a lot of friends but I have proven that most of them view me as their second option. Like, if their first friend or plan fizzles, I'm the one to call to save the day. I have blogged about that before and I'm over it.

"I'm always the go-to girl of almost everyone but when I need help or simply just someone to be with... no one's there. No one asks me "What's up?" and ready to listen. No one is ever there. Most of the time I have to make em be with me. I've realized this a long time ago and I can't even believe I'm saying this but... that's the truth. No one's there for the "I'm-always-there" girl."

Again, I have moved on from that and I'm not the perfect friend either. I've hurt people but I have my reasons and really, shit happens. My new take on it is that, friendships, they have ups and downs, as it is with almost everything else. And as with everything else, you need to work on it in order to succeed or get to the top or for you to be happy. You also need to work on the relationship you turn to when all of your other relationships fuck up. I don't think it's ironic. I simply find it natural.

Ella watching The Vampire Diaries on my laptop last Tuesday.
My friends Randy, Bobbhie, Fong and Ella, they listen to me. They understand me which is pretty hard because sometimes, I can't even understand myself. They tell me my faults and flaws but still accept me. They're always there and they let me know and feel that, that's true. They make me laugh and happy. Ultimately, they make me feel special. Cheesy but I cannot imagine my life without them. I hope I'm like that to them as well because I don't want to sound and come off as a self-centered bitch. It's just, for the first time, in a long time, I'm the first option. I'm the first choice. And it feels pretty damn good.