Getting It And Eating Out

I have been unemployed for almost a year now and it's by choice.

Hear me out.

Jobs are everywhere but I'm very picky. I don't adapt to changes very well so if I get into something, I have to be sure I'd be in it for a long time. I also haven't interacted with people, aside from my family and friends, so I get nervous a lot. My confidence isn't at its all time high so if I don't feel like doing it, I won't go. Which brings us to the third point of this reasoning of why I don't have a job yet - I'm a self-absorbed lazy ass. I don't got to interviews if it's far or if it's too hot. 

Kill me. 

Ella iMessaged me last week about an opening in their company but it's on Ate Riza's (her sister) department. Feeling very positive about this opportunity, mostly because Ella's going to be there for moral support, I decided to give it a go. The interview was this Tuesday and I'm going to keep this short - I got the job! 

So thankful of Ella and Ate Riza. Of course, of my family and friends, who never pushed me to do anything for the sake of money. I never experienced belittling with the people I surround myself with and I will forever be grateful of that.

Met up with Randy and the rest of the gang after to have dinner at this Korean restaurant in Malate called Makchang. I planned on writing about Makchang but as soon as the food was served, we indulged ourselves and I forgot to take pictures of the place and the menu.  My dream of becoming a famous food blogger is dead and I haven't even started yet.

We had Samkyupsal (250 pesos) and Pork Galbi (250 pesos). We like the Pork Galbi more because it's marinated unlike the Samkyupsal, which tastes like a normal grilled pork. But both are delicious when eaten with the lettuce, in which you wrap everything in, and Korean condiments which includes fresh garlic, soybean paste, Pamuchim (green onion salad), Kimchi, and sesame oil with salt and pepper. There's also singkamas and Korean Miso soup. 

Here's what our table looked like. Pretty awesome, yeah?

L-R: Bobbhie, Randy, Fong and Aika.

The food is delicious, fresh and authentic.The place isn't all that fancy but it's nice and the crew were very friendly. We all went out feeling satisfied with what we ate and how much we spent.

Makchang Restaurant is located at 

Adriatico St., Malate, Manila. 

Just beside Robinson's Place, Ermita.

I had a pretty good Tuesday. I went through that nerve-wracking interview but still succeeded and had dinner with my friends. Pain and gain, all in the same day.

The part that really gets me though, is that I can my feel my life changing again. I got so used to just staying at home and I'm at the point in my life where I don't know what to do. What will happen now? Is having a job the answer to my problems? 

I have no idea... But I just have to deal with it. I hope this time, it all works out. 

All We Can Do Is Smile Back

Daddy Clarito died last week. It was so sudden.
We were just at their house that Saturday. We saw him.
On Monday, Bobbhie was here, giving Mama her Dad's papers for a slot of a free dialysis. That same day, when Mama got home, she told me excitedly that she was able to process Bobbhie's case and that the hospital would contact them by Friday. On Tuesday, Daddy Clarito passed away. Aika called us all up and we headed over at Bobbhie's house.  Bob's Mom died late last year so we took the initiative to sort things out at their house with Ate Ty (Bob's older sister) since their relatives from Tanay were still on their way.

Camping while planning what to do and bring for the wake the next day.

Up L-R: Aika, me, and Fong

Down L-R: Jess and Randy

We all chipped in and listed everything needed for a decent wake. Fortunately for us, it all worked out. We lacked sleep and we were all tired but it doesn't matter. I'll do everything for Bobbhie. We'll do everything for Bob and we did. 

Death came in my life again yesterday. Lolo Boni, my Lolo's brother passed away. His family is in the States so all we did yesterday was to wait for their updates. I'm not really close with him but it's definitely sad and it hurts to see Daddy cry, really. Like Bobbhie and her parents, that's Daddy's brother. They've shared their lives together. And just like that, they're not there anymore.

Our family lost my Tito Kaka's second daughter last year so I'm not that cold and I know what it feels like to lose someone. It was too soon. She was only 7 months old. That was the worst day of my life. All I did was cry and think "Why?".

With Daddy and Bobbhie's situation, I can't imagine how painful it is to lose someone you've known your entire existence. Who you know has done and sacrificed a lot of things for you. In just a matter of seconds, they're not here with you. They're in a different place and you can't go with them. And with that, you're not certain if the life you're living is the same as the life you had with them. 

That thought alone sends a huge amount of emotions in my heart. I don't even want to think it will happen but I know, of course, it will. 

The saddest part of it all is that you can never really prepare for it. You can never be prepared for death. And that you can ask all the questions you want but the answers won't be as quick as those questions that came in your head. It will take time. 

It's just nice to think that they are all in a better place now. They're not hurting anymore. And that they are watching over us. 

Death is a part of life, I know. Someone dies, you grieve. You die, someone grieves. It's a circle. All we can do is walk that round path with faith, courage and a smile. 

RIP Daddy Clarito. I'll never forget the last words you told us - "Uwi kayo ha."

RIP Lolo Boni.

On Friendship And That Saturday

Since I became unemployed, my Saturdays have become quite normal to completely non-eventful. I would just sit on my ass, browse the Internet, watch a movie or catch up on TV shows. Don't get me wrong, I love doing that. I enjoy doing absolutely nothing. I mean, who doesn't, right? But to other people, that scenario should have made me slit my throat.

I never go out on Saturdays anymore. Reason 1: No ones asks me to go out. 2: I don't have money so 3: I'd rather stay at home. I'm not a complete homebody, though. I still enjoy the outside world usually and recently with my friends Randy, Bobbhie and Fong. But on Saturdays, Randy has work and though Bobbhie and Fong aren't working, they call it their rest day like normal people do. However, we get dinner and late night coffees on Tuesdays, when Randy's off. I don't know about Bob and Fong but they like staying up and literally dragging themselves up for work the next day. Especially Fong. Most of the time, she would just go home to take a bath and go straight to her office.

This last Saturday though, tenteneneeeeen! We went out. Nothing crazy happened. We just hung out, period. But it was one of those moments you'll eventually tell other people and realize that, that was a good one. And that's what I'm doing right now.

Last Thursday, Daddy Clarito (Bob's dad) was hospitalized. Randy, Fong and I decided to drop by on Saturday only to find out (as we were getting ready to meet up) that they already went home. Since we're almost on our way, we pushed through.
Have I mentioned that we only go out when it's already dark? Yes. That's kinda our thing. So as I sit on an FX while we braved the usual Manila traffic with this bipolar Manila weather, I can't help but think that everything is so bright and sunny and colorful. Basically, though I'm a human being for 23 years now, I've never appreciated how the sun really makes everything shine before. Shine for me means glitter and bronzer. Now, I am not used to going out during the day anymore and it's sad. Unfortunately, it also made every part of my skin sweat and I got preoccupied if it will be visible on my underarms.

Starbucks last Wednesday.

Up: Fong and Bobbhie

Down: Randy and me

After an hour and 30 minutes of constantly complaining about the heat with Randy and Fong and my little silent realization, we finally reached Bob's house. It was our first time there as Bob's family moves around a lot. After hellos and pizza, we settled in her room. We were spread on her floor, talked about her vapid boyfriend (whatever I never liked Baje) amongst other important, not important and what-the-fuck-was-that things. We also ate unhealthy food and smoked our lungs out, of course. We continued with that state until the next morning. It may seem boring but you know, that whole time made me feel happy and complete. Like, I wouldn't want anything else to happen at that moment but that.

We talked and laughed about everything in that room. From love to work, feelings and random crazy ass theories, how is our family similar and different, food to how laziness is a valid reason and can count for how we deal things, death and our friendship. And you know what's funny? We all feel like time isn't enough for the four of us. It's like we'll always have something or someone to talk and laugh about whatever happens. Even if we see or talk to each other every day.

I have a lot of friends but I have proven that most of them view me as their second option. Like, if their first friend or plan fizzles, I'm the one to call to save the day. I have blogged about that before and I'm over it.

"I'm always the go-to girl of almost everyone but when I need help or simply just someone to be with... no one's there. No one asks me "What's up?" and ready to listen. No one is ever there. Most of the time I have to make em be with me. I've realized this a long time ago and I can't even believe I'm saying this but... that's the truth. No one's there for the "I'm-always-there" girl."

Again, I have moved on from that and I'm not the perfect friend either. I've hurt people but I have my reasons and really, shit happens. My new take on it is that, friendships, they have ups and downs, as it is with almost everything else. And as with everything else, you need to work on it in order to succeed or get to the top or for you to be happy. You also need to work on the relationship you turn to when all of your other relationships fuck up. I don't think it's ironic. I simply find it natural.

Ella watching The Vampire Diaries on my laptop last Tuesday.
My friends Randy, Bobbhie, Fong and Ella, they listen to me. They understand me which is pretty hard because sometimes, I can't even understand myself. They tell me my faults and flaws but still accept me. They're always there and they let me know and feel that, that's true. They make me laugh and happy. Ultimately, they make me feel special. Cheesy but I cannot imagine my life without them. I hope I'm like that to them as well because I don't want to sound and come off as a self-centered bitch. It's just, for the first time, in a long time, I'm the first option. I'm the first choice. And it feels pretty damn good.

Setting The Mood

Wee hours of 2012's Black Saturday, Mama and Gian are spread across our living room. Since it's Holy Week, nothing decent is on the TV, even on the cable channels, so why not a Harry Potter marathon, right?

More about me and this blog. 

This is my third serious blog since I learned the power of the Internet way back in High School. I've deleted my first one and it was on LiveJournal. It contained young and naive feelings of an average 14-year-old. I talked about my college life on my second blog, Multiply. I think I should delete that one but it has all of my pictures from my senior year in High School up to.. Well, now. I must find a way to transfer those pictures, I know. Multiply is like a wet market now. I shouldn't have anything to do with that site. 

Which brings us to this one, my newest Internet venture - Blogspot. I've been here for almost a month and I've struggled with almost everything, tbqh. First, there's the blog name. I've tried at least 6 names and all of it are already taken. I didn't want a plain name and surname-blog name. Nothing serious though, it's just me and my ways. My writing process isn't at its peak either. The last time I blogged was late last year. I had things to write about in my head but I couldn't seem to put them in words. Also, my layout slash html slash design skills are rusty, it's frustrating. But with the outcome of this site, I think I've managed. 

Now me... I'm unemployed and have been for the last 9 months and I spent every waking minute of my current life here at our home, soaking the Internet. I'm not proud or ashamed that I'm not doing anything for me to put it in here. That's just the truth. 

I like preserving moments and feelings. I have this unusual talent of letting go of things and even people easily so I find writing my thoughts and experiences helpful to keep my feet on the ground. It makes me remember how things started and ended. What is good and what used to be good. It may become utterly hilarious after a few good years but it's always nice to remember things, even the bad ones. I believe it's even the bad ones that makes you smile most. Eventually

Well of course there's the fact that I love to write. I really do. I find writing calming and liberating at the same time. I feel stronger with words than with actions. I'm shy. I'm the type where I won't speak to you unless I have something to say or ask, which normally, I don't. So when I write, it's like I'm on a stage, delivering a speech or whatever and all of you are listening. All of you are so consumed with what I'm saying that I just lean back and rap "Look At Me Now."

I am hoping that this blog will help me do the things I want to do. I want to be a writer and I want to express myself more. That's all on me, I know. It's just so good to start with a clean slate. The past is just about looking back. It's all about now and the future. And I look forward to putting every step here.

So, I'm gonna join the rest of my family now. Yeah, I'm not good with ending things, like I've said. Apparently, that's just not in real life but in blog posts as well. No seriously, I think I've missed enough Potter action, even though I watched all 8 films the beginning of this year. Still, it's Harry Potter. No one can resist Harry Potter.